Comments on: The Child’s Bill of Rights

by: Deb

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 02:41:51 +0000

I’ve always explained to my kids that our house is a benevolent dictatorship and, contrary to their beliefs, I, not they, am the dictator.

I personally think kids like the safety of having rules and boundries even when they dont understand why they have to follow them.

by: Will Duquette

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 20:20:11 +0000

The thing you need to remember, Ian, is that virtue is as much a good habit as it is a reasoned choice. I do explain to my kids the reasons why I tell them to do certain things–but the final reason, especially when time is short, is “Because I said so.”

In other words, it doesn’t matter whether they agree with my reasons or not. I’m Dad, and I’m in charge.

Granted, I try to be a benevolent dictator rather than a cruel tyrant…but I think any parent would tell you that kids sometimes find benevolence and tyranny hard to distinguish.

by: Ian Hamet

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 09:58:58 +0000

I would dispute the “because I said so” part. It is entirely appropriate with children too young to reason, or to comprehend the reasons. But if “the whole truth” is that you are exercising power arbitrarily, I submit that you need to rethink your position. (Note: I am using the general “you,” not referring to Will specifically.) Having said that, a line of reasoning should only need to be stated once (and understood by the child, of course). After that, BCISS is a perfectly acceptable stand-in.

(Yes, I just proved beyond any doubt that I have no children yet.

Regarding the “legitimate authority” part: hear! hear!!!

by: Deb

Sat, 31 Jul 2004 14:51:45 +0000

Amen. I might add that in a family, you dont have to like someone all the time. You just have to be civil. That will cover you when the bickering starts in the adolescent years.